The 4YearOld Menace that Lived on Girth Road
by Idiom Laurels
Summary: Kurama agreed to babysit his neighbor's 4-yeah-old son. But that's not the point... Hiei's there too! And we all know that when dealing with me, Hiei gets a lot more attention from Kurama than even a cute child! KxH!


> Here is a fanfic written for Alexandrayea Nightblood! And also for every other Kurama/Hiei fan... there really aren't enough of us, so let's all stick together!  
  
Anyway, I thank my sister for the title of this story! The 4 Year Old Menace that Lived on Girth Road... (...)  
  
I don't own YYH!  
  
--  
  
"GAH!" Hiei cried out, soon falling over onto the grassy surroundings. "I... won't live... through this," was the last thing spoken from his mouth as the small demon shut his contrasting, large eyes, and heaved a soft, defeated sigh....  
  
"Ha-ha! You're dead!" a cute, small boy laughed, pointing at Hiei with his fingers in 'gun formation'.  
  
"Yeah, now get lost," Hiei said firmly, popping an eye open to glare at the human child.  
  
"Aww... but I want to play longer, Hiei-kun—"  
  
"GET LOST!!"  
  
The child's eyes became wide, frightened, watery... and soon Hiei witnessed the boy running off to a woman, sobbing.  
  
"Aww, Hiei, that was mean," Kurama chuckled, walking over to Hiei, offering a hand to his fallen demon friend.  
  
Hiei grunted at Kurama's gesture, sat himself up and turned to give the fox a glare.  
  
"I have every right to be hostile."  
  
"But still, he's just a child... and he likes you anyway."  
  
"Shut up. You said this would stop an hour ago!"  
  
"I'm sorry Hiei... but my neighbor said she'd be late, and I cannot just leave the poor boy by himself," Kurama explained softly, keeping a watchful eye on the small child at all times.  
  
"Then explain to me this: what the hell am **I **still doing here...?" Hiei said angrily, maintaining his expression of loathing disgust.  
  
"Umm... I don't know, Hiei. I never said you had to stay in the first place..." Kurama said, laughing inaudibly.  
  
"Oh, well then I'm leaving," Hiei growled, instantly getting to his feet.  
  
"Ah, now I'm saying you have to stay."  
  
"...Idiot."  
  
"Hiei-kun! Hiei-kun, let's play s'more!"  
  
"Now, Hiei-kun's tired so you have to give him a chance to re—"  
  
"Interacting with a mere CHILD is NOT enough to wear me out, Kura—"  
  
"Ahem, and when tired, he tends to become grouchy. So I advise you keep your distance, Shota-kun."  
  
"Oh... okay... Are you going to put Hiei-kun down for a nap, then, Shuichi- san?"  
  
Hiei shot a look to Kurama.  
  
"No, I think we should just let him sit here in the shade for a while. I'll play with you though, all right?" Kurama said kindly to the young boy, Shota.  
  
"Okay..." Shota agreed, directing a sadden look to the annoyed fire demon as he walked off to a sunny area, to wait for Kurama.  
  
"Hiei, you can go now if you'd like," Kurama offered, once again keeping his eyes fixed on Shota.  
  
Hiei noted how careful Kurama was with the child. They weren't even family! Nor had Kurama even known the boy before that day! And yet... he took care of him without hesitation and with the utmost of care.  
  
_Idiotic, kind nature..._  
  
When Kurama's neighbor had to run off to town for one reason or another, of course, who better to take care of her son than the strange—but he's good- looking so he must be nice—man who lived next door.  
  
_The one day I come to visit..._  
  
"Hn. What else do I have to do...?" Hiei spoke lightly, grunting a soft laugh to himself. "I'm stuck parenting your neighbor's child with you, that's the fact."  
  
"I apologize. I know this isn't what you wanted to do today," Kurama said under his breath, a smile crossing his lips as he watched Shota become acquainted with some other children at the park. "At least it looks as though we won't have to entertain him."  
  
"Hn..."  
  
Kurama smiled towards his friend.  
  
"So Hiei, tell me, how have you been?"  
  
Hiei cocked his head to the side and shrugged.  
  
"I see," Kurama said, thoroughly amused.  
  
Kurama closed his eyes, soaking in the fragrance of the surrounding flowers and plants, enjoying the sounds of the children playing and wind blowing through the trees, rustling their leaves, and the soft mumbling of the demon beside him, "...you...?"  
  
Kurama turned, eyes open, seeing that Hiei was focused straight ahead, almost deliberately avoiding his friendly glance.  
  
"I've been very well," he replied.  
  
"You're bored," Hiei stated firmly.  
  
The youko shot a look to Hiei.  
  
"What makes you say that?"  
  
"You agreed to watch your neighbor's kid."  
  
"I agreed to spend the day with you, too, Hiei," Kurama chuckled.  
  
Hiei smirked.  
  
"But I'm not a human child that you're unfamiliar with."  
  
Kurama turned his glance upwards, looking at the sky through a tree's leafy branches.  
  
"It's so cloudy out... but it's warm," Kurama stated, a smile coming over him. "It's perfect."  
  
Hiei rolled his eyes, but soon found himself looking at the dark storm clouds as well.  
  
"At least it's better than the sun's rays," Hiei mumbled, then focusing on the grass below him.  
  
Kurama laughed softly to himself, finding it funny to actual have a conversation about weather with Hiei. Nonetheless... he still liked it.  
  
"Shota-kun!!"  
  
Hiei was startled by Kurama's sudden outburst.  
  
The small boy soon came running over.  
  
"Yes?" he asked, cutely, looking up at Kurama.  
  
"It looks like rain. I think it will be best if the three of us went back to my apartment. All right?"  
  
Shota nodded in agreement as Kurama and Hiei reluctantly got to their feet.  
  
"The only problem with storm clouds is the storm," Hiei muttered to Kurama as the three of them began to walk, light rain already beginning to drizzle.  
  
Of course, the sprinkle didn't last for long, and it soon became practically a downpour.  
  
Kurama quickly whipped out his umbrella, holding it over Shota and himself. He then cocked his head in Hiei's direction, silently inviting him to come closer and share the small, rain protected space.  
  
Hiei grunted and looked straight ahead, purposely avoiding Kurama and Shota, walking just far away enough to be out of the umbrella's span.  
  
Shota giggled to himself at Hiei's annoyed but determined expression of walking quickly through the rain. Kurama soon joined him.  
  
"Come on, Hiei," Kurama said, offering the small demon a smirk.  
  
"Hn," was all heard from Hiei, as he continued with his wet protest.  
  
Kurama sighed cheerfully, deciding to give up on keeping Hiei even remotely waterless, and instead focusing on how to _forcibly dry him_ when they got to his home. But his thoughts and schemes were soon interrupted by gentle pressure on his leg. Kurama looked down to see Shota trying to push him closer to Hiei, along with the umbrella's protection.  
  
Kurama hid his soft smile and swiftly took an elongated step to his right, moving just enough to cover Hiei from the rain.  
  
The fire demon grunted, clearly displeased, but stayed under nonetheless.  
  
The group soon arrived at their destination, Shota hurrying to watch TV, and Kurama to take care of Hiei's wetness.  
  
"You know this wouldn't have happened if you'd just submitted to the force of the umbrella in the first place. You could have saved yourself—and _me_ for that matter—a lot of trouble," Kurama lectured, as he toweled off Hiei's hair.  
  
Hiei quickly jerked away from Kurama and walked to the other side of the room, where he began to dry his own hair.  
  
"Who said I wanted you to help me anyway?" Hiei snapped, scanning over his clothes to find that they were soaking, then, finally, his eyes met with Kurama's 'all-knowing smirk of irony.'  
  
"I have some old clothes you can borrow, Hiei," Kurama offered kindheartedly, as he disappeared into the depths of his closet.  
  
Hiei shook his head in repulsion of himself as he stripped off his wet clothes and waited for Kurama. He didn't like taking favors from the fox....  
  
Hiei sat on Kurama's bed, waiting. He noted how long his friend was taking and was becoming rather inpatient at it.  
  
"KURAMA! Just come out of the closet already!" Hiei called, experimenting with many different ways to sit on the bed.  
  
The youko soon popped his head out.  
  
"Blue or purple, Hiei?"  
  
"I don't care!"  
  
As Kurama was about to open his mouth again, the sight before his eyes instantly shut him up.  
  
Hiei was laying on his bed, naked, his legs spread apart all too invitingly, with an expression of surrender invoking his face.  
  
Kurama gawked for a moment, but soon snapped himself out of his trance and fetched Hiei's clothing.  
  
_If only I hadn't offered!  
_  
Kurama slapped himself.  
  
"Ahem, here you are, Hiei," Kurama said, handing him a shirt and a pair of shorts as he tried desperately not to stare at Hiei's nakedness.  
  
"Hn," Hiei grunted, snatching the clothes.  
  
The two shared an awkward, silent glance.  
  
Hiei was becoming very uncomfortable at the sight of his best friend's eyes ever wandering over his bare figure, even worse his constant trying to stop himself. And Kurama was just downright upset about why he was so interested.  
  
Hiei hurried and got dressed, but the two looked each other in the eye warily the whole time.  
  
Kurama faked a cough to break the silence.  
  
"You sick?" Hiei asked, quickly.  
  
"No," Kurama answered, rapidly as well.  
  
"Good. I don't want to be infected with your human germs."  
  
Silence broke again, and this time, Hiei was the one to cough.  
  
"Are you all right, Hiei?" Kurama asked hurriedly, jetting a look of concern to his friend.  
  
"Yes," Hiei replied, hastily.  
  
Just as another round of quiet was about to begin, the two demons heard a soft calling from out in the other room....  
  
"Shuichi-san! Hiei-kun! A cool movie is about to start!"  
  
The two demons looked away from each other and hurried off to join the small boy.  
  
Hiei and Shota had positioned themselves around the TV—Shota on the floor and Hiei slouching around in a nearby chair—and Kurama in the kitchen gathering snacks.  
  
"Popcorn?" Kurama offered, hovering a bowl in front of Hiei's nose.  
  
"Hn," he grunted, shaking his head.  
  
Kurama set a small mountain of food stuffs on the floor close to Shota and took a seat on the sofa. While repositioning pillows and making himself comfortable, Kurama caught a glimpse of a certain youkai staring at him. As they both were about to meet each others eyes, the sound of many gun shots were heard; the two instantly focused their attention on the movie.  
  
"Cool!" the small boy cried out in admiration, as a man's head was blown off.  
  
Kurama couldn't help but notice that Hiei and the boy had the same expression on their faces. At this he chuckled.  
  
As the movie was about to end, Kurama decided that it was a good time to start cleaning up and preparing for Shota's mother to arrive. He stood up and began to gather empty bowls, soda cans, and half eaten bags of chips. As he was bending over to grab a fallen cup, he felt eyes on him. Kurama turned his head just the slightest bit to see that certain youkai, again looking at him.  
  
This time he spoke.  
  
"Hiei, would you please help me carry this stuff into the kitchen?"  
  
Hiei looked away in annoyance, but soon stood up and forcibly grabbed away some things from Kurama. He was then lead into the kitchen, where he was instructed to drop what he was carrying onto the counter.  
  
"I've missed you," Hiei stated out of nowhere, quietly, as he discarded some bags into the trash can.  
  
Kurama smiled to himself.  
  
"Then you'll have to visit more often."  
  
"Hn, maybe," Hiei mumbled, walking away from his friend and back out to the TV room. Kurama detected a hint of certainty in Hiei's voice.  
  
Kurama's smile widened.  
  
After he had washed all the dishes, thrown away all the trash, put away everything that could be used again, and finally wiped down the entire kitchen until it was practically sparkling, Kurama made his way back into the TV room, seeing that the only thing before him was, well, nothing.  
  
The TV had been turned off, Hiei's chair vacated, Shota's spot on the floor left empty, and every pillow returned to its proper place.  
  
The kitsune pondered ((A/N: and we all know that every true happy clam does not think a thought, but ponders a position)).  
  
Where had they gone?  
  
He began to wander around, peering into closets, checking the bathroom, but to no avail.  
  
The fox became very suspicious.  
  
Then it hit him like a ton of bricks!  
  
4-year-old boys were very impressionable (?). And Kurama couldn't help but notice that this situation was identical to one of which was featured in the movie they had watched.  
  
A young girl had been kidnapped by a shifty, dark assassin.  
  
Shota was clearing forcing Hiei to play out the plot of the movie with him. And as Kurama remembered, the little girl was rescued by a trustworthy friend.  
  
So, all he had to do was find Shota and "save" him from Hiei... right?  
  
Kurama walked into the last possible place in the house they could be: his room.  
  
The redhead looked around. Seeing nothing, he opened up his closet after noticing its door cracked open.  
  
"Shota...?" he called out, looking around the darkness.  
  
After a muffled noise befell the fox's ears, he flicked on a light to reveal—  
  
"HIEI!?" he cried out, eyes wide and shocked.  
  
Hiei had been tied up, _gagged_, and thrown in the closet... against his will, too.  
  
Kurama became very suspicious. But just as he was about to turn around and find the small boy responsible, his closet door closed, and the sound of it being locked echoed throughout Kurama's mind.  
  
Thoroughly stunned, the youko turned to his friend, that of whom was glaring at him, an intense anger in his eyes.  
  
Without a drop of hesitation Kurama ran to un-gag his friend.  
  
"What happened!?" Kurama questioned, in alarm.  
  
"That child... is evil..." was all Hiei said.  
  
"...Hiei..." Kurama sighed, his eyes jumping around as his minded searched for something to do.  
  
"I'm serious, Kurama! That kid's _not_ human!"  
  
"Hiei, what did he do?"  
  
"...Isn't that obvious?"  
  
"Did you... let him?"  
  
There was a brief moment of silence.  
  
"No."  
  
Kurama began to sweat, and Hiei could clearly see his nervousness.  
  
"Don't panic, he's just a human child," Hiei assured the fox, turning away to look at the floor.  
  
"It's not that... I just don't want his mother to come while we're stuck in the closet."  
  
Hiei fell over.  
  
Kurama then hurried to untie Hiei's wrists. Unconsciously, almost instinctively, Kurama began to caress and sooth Hiei's freed wrists with his own hands. He didn't notice it until his friend leaned into his touch, seeming to enjoy it. The fox stopped immediately and pulled away....  
  
"I've missed you too," Kurama whispered lightly, letting his hands untie the ropes that bound Hiei's legs.  
  
Hiei wormed a little closer to his fellow closet trapped.  
  
Slowly, the half koorime reached his head nearer to Kurama, and uttered softly in his ear, as if to tell a secret....  
  
"Do you know why...?" he questioned, in a deep, sexy tone.  
  
Kurama did all he could, and merely shook his head.  
  
"Because I've been gone, dumb ass."  
  
Kurama was overthrown by an expression of bewilderment. But soon broke out in a quiet, sweet laughter.  
  
"I think you're right," he stated, turning to give Hiei a smirk.  
  
"Now let's get out of here and teach that kid a lesson," Hiei proposed, sitting up and making his way to the closet door.  
  
"Try not to break anything," Kurama requested, earning him an annoyed look from Hiei.  
  
"If it's locked, something's going to have to break in order to open it!"  
  
"Maybe not..." Kurama mumbled, joining Hiei's side and reaching for the door handle.  
  
"Umm, your plan is genius, except for one thing: **it's- locked**."  
  
The fox gave him a sideways glance.  
  
"You're truly a master of the obvious, aren't you Hiei."  
  
"I'm smarter than you."  
  
"Then I must be awfully unintelligent."  
  
"You are."  
  
Silence came over the inside of the closet.  
  
"Heh—"  
  
Kurama covered his mouth to keep from laughing.  
  
"Heheh..." Hiei let escape him.  
  
In no time at all, the two demons found themselves chuckling and giggling, all the while unaware to what was going on beyond the closet doors: the unmonitored activities of a small boy.  
  
Kurama then began to jiggle the door handle. Hiei watched in awe as the door swung open to reveal a pitch-black room.  
  
"I made sure that the closet door could be opened from the inside just by messing with the handle. It was an idiotic idea for someone to have a lock on their closet anyway," the youko stated, as the two walked out and into Kurama's shadowed room.  
  
Unbeknownst to Shota, the two demons had virtually no problems navigating in the dark. However, they really didn't have a choice. As Kurama tried to turn the light switch on, the two found that either the lamp was unplugged, or Shota had cut the power.  
  
The demons shared a glance.  
  
"I told you he was evil," Hiei grumbled, making his way over to Kurama's digital alarm clock, showing to his companion that it was plugged in, but still not working.  
  
So Shota _had_ cut the electricity.  
  
A loud crashing noise was soon heard, coming from the kitchen area. Kurama became instantly alarmed, and as he was about to investigate, a firm grip was felt on his arm, holding him back.  
  
"Kurama, going out to see what that sound is on your own is **exactly** what that boy wants you to do."  
  
Kurama shot Hiei a strange look. One that seemed to say: "but... he's just a harmless 4-year-old child! He's not plotting against me!"  
  
"It's like one of those horror pictures, fox," Hiei continued, ignoring Kurama's protests. "And what's the worst possible thing you can do in a horror movie?"  
  
"...Umm... there are many things, I'm sure...." Kurama replied, mulling it over for a moment.  
  
Hiei groaned.  
  
"Look, just follow me," Hiei ordered, as he began to walk out of Kurama's room and into the hallway.  
  
The former thief hurried behind.  
  
The two walked, side by side, noting every one of the strange noises, and also how they all seemed to come from different directions.  
  
Another crash was heard, this one louder than the last. It was so sudden it took even Kurama by surprise, and in response, he gripped onto Hiei's shoulder, tightly at first, but he let up as the seconds passed. Hiei turned his head, a smirk on his lips as their eyes met.  
  
"Scared?" he mocked.  
  
"Surprised," Kurama corrected, sounding so proud that even he didn't belief himself entirely.  
  
Hiei scoffed, shaking his head.  
  
The two continued walking.  
  
Kurama's mind was scattered amongst what seemed a million different thoughts. What was Shota up to? How had he cut the lights? Why was Hiei holding his hand? What was making all these noises? Why hadn't Shota's mother come yet?  
  
"I've _really_ missed you, fox," Hiei confirmed, giving Kurama's hand a soft squeeze.  
  
Kurama felt his cheeks become heated.  
  
The youko's other thoughts vanished, and instead he concentrated on that one subject....  
  
Why _was_ Hiei holding his hand?  
  
Of course, as soon as Kurama had become distracted, yet another loud noise was heard, this time coming from right next to him, inside the broom closet.  
  
Kurama jumped again.  
  
"You're losing it," Hiei commented, shaking his head in disgrace, nevertheless, he was holding onto Kurama's hand rather tightly.  
  
Kurama freed his hand of Hiei's and strayed over to the suspicious, hall closet door. Of course, he was stopped again by Hiei's hand on his shoulder.  
  
"FOX! You forgot the rule again..." Hiei warned, turning Kurama to face him. "The worst thing you can do is wander off alone. So, you don't go anywhere without me. Got that?"  
  
Kurama nodded, a smile coming over him.  
  
"I won't go anywhere or do anything without you," Kurama assured the little demon, his face flushed, and his heart pounding.  
  
The two gazed at each other, both void of expression. They were mutually filled with emotion, sharing the same heated sensation in their hearts, like a warmed blanket that enclosed them, protecting the two from their own coldness.  
  
"It's odd," Hiei stated, turning his face away. "I've never... craved someone's company like yours before...."  
  
"I'll do all I can to satisfy," Kurama chuckled, bringing himself closer to Hiei and engulfing the demon in a loving, tight embrace.  
  
"You wouldn't mind if I extend my visit...?"  
  
Kurama laughed, letting his hair caress Hiei's neck as he shook his head.  
  
"Of course not..."  
  
At that moment, Kurama and Hiei's hug was interrupted, as the broom closet door was opened, to reveal a small, dirty, crying boy.  
  
"Shota!" Kurama exclaimed, rushing over to the boy in concern.  
  
Hiei grunted at the boy.  
  
"What happened to you!?" the youko asked, as he started to brush dust off the boy.  
  
"Well... Hiei-kun and I were playing around, and I was the dark, mysterious assassin, and he was the girl, and you were the other guy, and so I tied him up, but then, he didn't get to see the end of the movie because you two were in the kitchen, but I did see it, so I knew that I had disappear after the other guy, you, and the young girl, Hiei-kun, got married '5 years later', so I climbed up between the walls by going through the broom closet, and then I got stuck in some wires and everything went dark, and I fell, but then I got out and crawled around, but I fell again, and then I fell back down into the broom closet... and... and... and I hurt!!!"  
  
"Awww...!" Kurama sighed, hugging the boy gently, furtively turning to glare at Hiei for misjudging the boy's motives, not to mention letting him wander off. "Don't worry, we'll get you cleaned up and then _forget this ever happened_. Won't we, Shota-kun...?"  
  
"Uh-huh!!" he sobbed.  
  
In a five minute speedy clean, Shota was back to normal, perhaps better, and had soon fallen asleep on the sofa. Kurama and Hiei sat beside him—after lighting some candles since the power was still out.  
  
Kurama held his little fire demon tightly in his arms, brushing his lips lightly across his forehead as he spoke.  
  
"So, you really did get yourself tied up by a normal, 4-year-old human child."  
  
"Shut up, now."  
  
"Oh, it's not like I'm going to make fun of you for it."  
  
"What do you think you WERE doing just a second ago!?"  
  
Kurama sighed contently, as he snuggled Hiei against him, and brought his lips down just close enough to place them on Hiei's. The fire demon responded through a smile, and kissed back.  
  
"So, Hiei, you really would like to stay here with me...?"  
  
"As often as I can..." the demon replied, faintly.  
  
"Enough to make it official?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Nothing, nothing..." Kurama whispered, cuddling the small demon in his arms.  
  
Hiei glanced quickly at the small boy, and oddly enough, even his eyes weren't fully able to detect the fast motion of Shota closing his watchful eyes.  
  
_Yes... he's evil._  
  
--_End_--  
  
"So, tell me Shota, honey, did you have fun with Shuichi-san last night?"  
  
"I did mommy! We played in the park, and got caught in the rain, and came back here and watched an old romance movie, and then acted it out even! Only the ending was a little different for us because it was real."  
  
"...What?"  
  
"Umm... he means Hiei and I didn't see the end of the movie!"  
  
"No I didn't, Shuichi-san! I meant how you and Hiei-kun saved me and kissed and stuff while I was asleep!"  
  
"WHAT!? Shuichi-san, you and that Hiei guy are a couple!?"  
  
"Oh no! Of course not! ...We're just dating! And... living together... and... engaged to be... married... and...."  
  
"So... yes?"  
  
"...I guess so..."


End file.
